I Get Close to Another Man. How can I Understand Who’s Suitable For Myself?

Reader Question:

i’ve been senior lesbian dating my personal recent sweetheart for four years and was ecstatic with this union. Recently I have grown to be really close to this different man that is a buddy. I constantly chat and contemplate him.

I understand both of us show feelings each some other, but neither people has completely admitted to it because we understand i’m in a relationship currently and this I nonetheless love and have now feelings for my existing date.

Is there an effective way to help evaluate who is right personally in this situation?

-Ashley (Indiana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Torn between two men. It’s the tale many an enchanting comedy and classic novel. The heroine provides a perfectly adequate sweetheart and in walks a dashing brand-new man simply to generate her hot, bothered and completely puzzled. Be confident, you, Miss Ashley, are not the first girl to struggle with this issue.

While I discovered myself this kind of a pickle, I would personally simply take pen to report and write listings of pros and cons about each man, completing columns and columns and, really, getting more perplexed. Because, honestly, it’s really impossible to evaluate common, stable and comfy to interesting, brand-new and hazardous. Both of them involve some alluring strong things.

I shall inform you this: the connection that is right for your family could be the one you have with yourself. Are you presently being the sweetheart you’d like to wed someday? Could you be dealing with yourself in a manner that retains compassion both for men? Could you be teasing the brand new guy with no explanation except your pride? Will you be starting to tell white lies towards date to get an opportunity to encounter Mr-New-And-Exciting?

The relationship that is right obtainable is the one you make proper. I’d begin by producing right along with your conscience. Split up, in the event that’s what should take place. But try not to stay on the fence too much time, or you could be pushed off and land on prickly part.

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